Shifting Seasons, Shifting Paradigms

All the while I’ve been searching for my Virgin Mary in a bathing suit (or blouse), and more likely than not I end up either disappointed or frustrated.  They always come out short.  KULANG.  Is it because my standards are too high?  Am I asking for too much? 

What is a Virgin Mary in a bathing suit?  Its a cacophony of various characteristics taken separately cannot outweigh it as a whole.  She has to be simple enough to share street food like isaw or balut yet elegant enough to eat in a fancy restaurant.  It helps when she’s gifted.  A good sense of humor is a must.  Physical beauty may fade as time goes by so its not much of an issue with me.  Yet I seek that glow.  You know, she is so beautiful inside that is just flows out of her.  She just exudes beauty.  A woman that makes me smile no matter what.  She can dance. The way she moves in the dance floor is passion personified.  She loves God and her family. She’s my every wish, my every dream, my every prayer come true.

When will the prophecy come to pass?  Will I ever get to meet my one and only Virgin Mary in a bathing suit?
         

I’ll never get used to the idea of goodbyes.  Just recently I was told to stop texting my ex just because its causing unwanted strain on their relationship.  She admitted there might be unresolved issues between us.  Its true I miss her once in a while but once I leave a relationship, there’s no turning back. 

The funny thing is I was the one who ended up apologizing.  I’m tired of apologizing.  Its a vicious cycle that I need to get out of.  The wolf may have rested, but he’s chewing on roses now.       

Breaking up with her was hard enough.  But saying goodbye to her again?