Anyway,
this is one of those opportunities when I can pour my heart out to you without
any interruptions. As you can see, I’m
going through a very turbulent phase right now. A lot of things are going through my mind and it will take some time
before I can sort everything out. And in
the middle of it all, there’s ******. Well, you can say that I’ve made her my proto-center of the universe for
these past few days and it was great! And I have you to thank for that. You sure pointed me in the right
direction. You might say that I’ve been
smitten by the love bug. It opened a
whole new horizon for me. I never knew
that she would open that door within me that I never thought would ever be
opened again. She was truly God-sent,
since she came in a time that I needed a lot of boosting up and radical changes
are happening in my life. She’s simply
an angel, and I feel so unworthy to be with such a heavenly creature. As Nyoy
Volante sang she’s ”every wish, every dream, every prayer come true. She’s simply one of a kind. She’s the one who never fails to brighten my
day. She’s my princess in every fairy
tale.” In short, I like her. I really really really really really like
her.
Lately,
I’ve realized the value of your advice. “Control your feelings for her. Take it slow.” So I did. I took a step back and I’ve discovered that
she has some quirks that I don’t really like. I know what you’re thinking; don’t judge the book by its cover. Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against the cover. I just didn’t have the chance to get under
it. ; ). But seriously, she’s a nice gal and I’m willing to get to know her
more. It’s only that the old Adam in me
is acting up again. Fits of jealousy and
an over-active imagination can get the best of me at times. And I don’t want her to go through hell
again. A loving person like her deserves
the best guy she can possibly get. Unfortunately, that guy is not me (as of the moment). I have a lot to improve on myself if I am to
be deemed worthy of her attention, respect and ultimately, her love. I need a major overhaul, and its gonna take a
while. I need to be at peace with myself
first so that I can be capable of genuine love. It is with great hesitation that I’ve decided to take this step back
from ******, but I know that it will do us a lot of good. Again, I thank you for that advice. All I can do now is just be a friend who is
there for her no matter what happens. Nothing more, nothing less.
If I had
only one wish right now, it would be a big hug from her. Why? Hugs are great for healing the heart. Quoting one of my college mentors: ”Hugs are practically perfect. They have low energy consumption, and have a
high-energy yield, with no monthly payments. Hugs are non-fattening, inflation proof. They use no pesticides and have no artificial preservatives. They are non-taxable, non-polluting and, of
course, are fully returnable”.